NO, I DONT HAVE TO !!!

I dont know why, but just recently the words  "  have to "  set light to a touch paper fuse in me. This morning someone told me " I had to do something  "  " but its got to be done today "   A fiery anger burnt up in me and I threw a mug into the sink ( apparently breaking a glass ) and slammed the fridge door ( apparently breaking half a dozen eggs ) No, you dont have to do anything ! Some of the silliest decisions ive seen people make were often preceeded by the dreaded words " but we have to " ! It is surely a prelude to a mistake to leave yourself no wriggle room when considering any actions. Dont tell me I have to do anything !

There is only one phrase which gets me more worried than the above and thats the great  " Gods told me to do it...or its Gods will "   Oh yes, this has been uttered before some true abominations have come to light, and Im talking about things ive seen, not a general attack on Christianity here .Only a deviant could utter such words, and did !

Ive been ill for weeks. Bad stomach, head ache, bad sinuses, bad chest, stuffed up ect. I cough at night, I take cough mixture,  eventually it gives me heart burn, that makes me cough again... Combined with my Seasonal Disorder kicking in and sapping my energy, at times this subtle and gradual combination has felt like the beginning of my demise. I know that sounds crass and its not so, but this feeling is not something Ive felt before. Maybe having to measure my energy to my work load has pointed out the fact that im not that invincible anymore ?