Quote of the week / Its a double header !

"  SO DAVID , HAVE YOU GOT YOUR PHYSCOLOGICAL DADDYS HAT ON YET ? "



Again several women have had me lost for words this week ........

Snowdrops

Well its a grey wintery day but at least its dry . Snow is on the hills and the snow drops are out . Comparing now to last year i feel up and down . A period of upheaval is soon ahead but also i see the future and it seems brighter due to some . Friends stick by you hell or high water and believe me theres plenty of that ahead , so im impressed for the record .
 The days are lenghtening and getting brighter . Ive run out of things to say......

David has issues !

Ive had a very good weekend apart from being told i looked like a member of the Klu Klux Clan !!! LOL  .I may have a few " issues " with that .LOL  ( a joke yeah !  )

Jigsaw puzzle

My parents have spent over a week doing a jigsaw puzzle and having finished it have dismantled it . All that effort only to revert it to a jumble of random pieces again . Its like life . We struggle to fit the pieces together till we get the big picture , then loose interest when its complete and tear it apart again . Human nature . The pleasure is in the distraction of doing the puzzle , not the end picture .

Why i cant face facebook

I am often asked " Why dont you have your own facebook page ?" Well to be honest would you really want my unedited rants popping up on your wall ? As the page is Rachels  she decides what  is too outrageous  to go on  ,and this is a safety catch for my own good . My blog is another matter though..... And so the best balance is found . I have a few  " issues " with the distorted reality displayed on facebook and some things i dont want my face rubbing in everyday  . That doesnt mean i wouldnt love to chat to some of you but how long would it be before trouble reared its all to predictable head . Everyone else can manage it but it would drive me insane . Though someday it may become necessary  for now i can survive without it .
 

Mellow night

Ok the beginnings of a new moon is hanging in the tree tops next door . I can see it through the branches and all is so still . Oddly the sky looks unreal and all the major constellations are standing out in the dusk light . It feels so mellow and ive a feeling its gonna be another unusual weekend . Meet me halfway and all maybe possible! Sometimes its right to weather the storm and lie low , and sometimes its the right time to ******* kick ass . Both are sweet in their own right and equally necessary in forging a future beyond the ordinary .Some combinations are un stoppable .
 Ive finally got my Old Moores Almanack of the coming years star predictions . I don't really hold too much faith in them but so far this year they have been spot on and February looks likely too . I think its gonna be an interesting unlimited year ahead (i hope anyway )
 Women are gathering at my house this weekend with intent . All hormonal and hyped up in a maternal way . I'm keeping well out of it as who knows what price ill have to pay for their flocking . Setting my sail against the wind and praying for the best .   :  )

Honest

I never joke on Golden......  Thats exactly what has happened on in Dent . Move here and you'll see !

Quote of the week

" If it quacks sometimes it really is a duck ! "

" We were holding back the flood , there was more of them than us.... "

I cant avoid this subject any longer !!!  Child birth ! Why would any man want to witness this ? I can think of nothing more disturbing or off putting . You can keep all your new man delusions of huggy wuggy interaction .   " I just wanted to go home " someone told me recently who had been through this horror . Leave it to the women and for Gods sake leave some things a mystery to us men . Blogs about to get messy......

God IS a DJ !

Its a classic . I remember listening to this having come back off a very good holiday up Scotland  :  )http://youtu.be/qhhnaRy6ddI

Cam on !

Cam on ! Its time for a cam belt change .Oh dear standards are dropping......

My blog was one year old on the 15th and i missed its birthday....ahhh bless . Seriously though I'm looking back to this time last year and remembering how i felt setting up this blog . It took a while to actually get it up and running , there always seemed to be a reason not to do it ! Ive poured my heart and soul out into it at times , probably too much some would say and i bet its caused some amusement at times . It has served its purpose well . Very well . For some it maybe the only contact they have with me as i don't see them anymore or less than i did . For some it just re-enforces that I'm all Ive told them i am . And we all need reassurance that people were close to are as we find them :  )  I still have no idea who views it for sure as viewings are so erratic .Do i wanna know ? With face book you have no idea if any ones  looked ! A blog is a one way street and maybe its best that way .

Feeling all jgfkjgffkjkgkkigii......

Tonight I'm going to the cinema . Has anyone seen my phone ?  Ive lost it a few weeks ago . Its easily recognisable as a ninety's brick and is as indestructible as too ! And why is everyone either daft as a brush or plain touchy tonight ? One extreme to the other me thinks. The wind is in the tree tops and I'm feeling edgy myself......

Oh Suzanna

Suzanna Reid is looking hot on BBC breakfast . It is the shows only asset .

Somehow ive become a flirty hoodie !

I went to Kendal today wearing my new coat from Asda . I quickly found the hood is huge and completely obscures my face when i walk down the street . I felt well dodgy . Happily my usual hair dresser was in so i told her i was hoping she would be on duty . A big smile came on her face , but i had to explain that the last woman who worked there had made a bit of a hash of it ! She looked a bit embarrassed when she realised my comment was 100 % hair related !!!! Bless her LOL

The Mexicans

Ive had one of my Radio 4 moments in the early hours of the morning . I often wake up to something really interesting at a random moment . Last night it was a report on the Mexican drug lords . They fund and build their own schools to educate  children . What i didn't know was that they have their own brand of Catholicism . A blend of the Roman Catholic religion and some older ideas : pre - Christian  .They even build their own to churches   . A  patron saint of death is worshipped  and is popular with those living a dangerous life of crime on the edge of society . She is seen as a protector . The drug lords are seen as hero's by some who feel they are neglected by their government . .

Drugs 'n' guns

With the Olympics coming up fast increased laboratory facilities for drugs testing are being set up .Also the customs service is setting up a new system to deal with the increase in fire arms coming into the country that will be used in shooting events . You can sense the tension however unjustified as the news reader uses the phrase    " increase in fire arms coming in to the country "  The beat goes on.......

Its all in the game !

What a strange weekend . Todays thoughts are unprintable .Even on Golden ! Laugh or cry is the question.....and anyone who gave me positive support for Sunday  thanks your a star !
  Work wise has been good today and ive caught up on several dry weather jobs including fixing my shed roof at last . Its cold but at least its gonna be dry for another day. I am cooking some flat fish given to me by a friend tonight which will be delicioius . Feeling more my self tonight . The future will be rocky for sure.......
This blog will be interesting , way more interesting than it should be . Stay tuned and thank the lord you aint me LOL  

Bad advice

I have just read the Telegraph news paper " agony aunt " problem column . It hasn't changed . Still putting people in boxes and telling them to be conventional . If  somethings a little unusual then you are mistaken that's all .Do the conventional thing and forget what moves you . They never say go with it and see where it takes you ! God forbid you may have a dream .Forget it and go back to the conventional.....Aaaargh !

Have i got news for you !!!

American soldiers urinating on bodies , 40,000 breast implants need checking  , a child killed for being a " witch " , a Uranian nuclear scientist blown up by a bomb placed on his window by a passing motorbike , a sausage a day increases your risk of cancer by 19 %   Have i lost the plot ? No these and worse are this weeks news stories .A nd they aint gonna stop. What have they all in common ? They are all attention grabbers with a dream like quality and they punctuate the news daily . Why is the question .I think they turn your attention away from the imminent European financial collapse . And guess what ? It bloody works !
 Today on the news doctors nearly spill a donour heart moving it in a box ... Stuff flies everywhere LOL
Come on now , this is getting silly......

A good break

I have had a good rest  at Durham . The Cathedral is mind blowingly beautiful and huge .  Set in the bend of the river it has a fortified raised position in the centre of the town . I  decided to climb over 300 steps to the top of the tower , and what a view .This cost me £5 but was worth it . There is such a peaceful atmosphere inside the cathedral  ,and you really feel you have escaped the modern world  . I had a good meal at a bar/cafe afterwards , then fell asleep for an hour on the  cafe sofas .I woke up not knowing where i was . Oh dear its in the genes i think .
  Quite a bit has happened during 2 nights away ! That's to be expected nowadays . People died , got married , injured themselves etc . Bizarre........

Miranda ?

What a moon !    Its a nice fresh winter night in Dent . On the news it said a jet engine has  fallen through someones roof  but they cant find the plane its off....Mad world  :  )
  Im off to Durham for a few days .Should be good . The cathedral is Gothic and huge , some of its so old its underground !  Back on Tuesday .
 Going to watch new Holmes film tonight . Happy days .....

Hey Asda, I aint gonna be your bitch !

Today at Asda (the great Satan) i made a stand . A slice of pie and five chips on a saucer for £4.25 .No veg or drink either .  I told them i wanted twice as many chips and on a larger plate . They said it would cost more so i said im not paying that and walked out . Boy it felt good and its been a while coming......

Someones made a boob !

40,000 breast implants need checking . Nice work if you can get it !  Bang Babes to the front of the queue please ....Ha ,ha ,ha

Shauna and Amelia's guest post

Today Shaunas bra snapped...........fail :/ Shauna does a lot of stuff that make people giggle for instance;
- Rachel asked Stu"how many owners has your car had ? " Shauna "74,000 owners... OH no i think that's the millage " :O
- it was lambing time at Brains farm and Shauna asks " Why is there jellyfish in the fields ??? " James "nope Shauna that's the after birth of a sheep ! " <----- sooo blonde
- these are just a few of the blonde moments Shauna has if you want to see more blonde moments Shauna comes up with ... you can find her on facebook at Shauna Allsop!

today David experienced 2012 technology and played the moron game : David claims that he is doing the game right but the phone is saying it's wrong .... he also he says that he has beat the system ( suuurrrreeee) when playing these games David was getting a little touchy because he was a moron !!!!!!! he got very amused at the phone because he could feel the ball in the phone moving around in the phone . :S bit strange there David .       

In a spin

Ive won a " dreidal " type spinning top in a cracker ,funny cos i put posted this song on this blog at christmas . Here it is again cos most of you missed it cos you had a life ! LOLhttp://youtu.be/mnzVq2t7bi4