Friday, June 29
Time to get focused
Oh well the Meriva is to be taken away to be fixed on the cheap in " good time " Mmmm i dont think i have much faith in this though so im looking at a Focus today at Kendal . Blew my top this morning messing on with a pipe . I am too old for this shit !!! The Focus car has helped me out at the worst times in my motoring life , so to it i will return....
Wednesday, June 27
Fucked off big time !
Ive had enough , i really have . What a shit week . Oh its only Wenesday yet too so its not even over yet... The Meriva head gasket has blown so im scrapping it ! Money down the drain and a garage bill yet to pay . Im so sick of this shit , hundreds of pounds pissing away on shit and nothing to show for it either.
The next day reveals i may not be seeing as much of a good friend in the future either unless something changes and this is the final straw . Money is just money at the end of the day , however infuriating its waste is . Not at all happy . Really not . Im sick of hassle and complications its all a waste of time and something is gonna give big time cos im so fucked off . This is when things get done in my world !!!!
My mobile is lost too . I know have a lap top though but no land line till the 9th . I have a new credit card now to as the old cancelled one was used in " fraudulant activity " apparently . So not everything is at a halt yet . I go through phases when everything needs replacing at once with bigger and better i expect .
The next day reveals i may not be seeing as much of a good friend in the future either unless something changes and this is the final straw . Money is just money at the end of the day , however infuriating its waste is . Not at all happy . Really not . Im sick of hassle and complications its all a waste of time and something is gonna give big time cos im so fucked off . This is when things get done in my world !!!!
My mobile is lost too . I know have a lap top though but no land line till the 9th . I have a new credit card now to as the old cancelled one was used in " fraudulant activity " apparently . So not everything is at a halt yet . I go through phases when everything needs replacing at once with bigger and better i expect .
Saturday, June 23
Uneasy
Today is wet and stormy in Dent . Its warm but there is an atomosphere of winter . I dont think ive seen such bad weather in June . At least my hay fever is dampened down . Its a boring inbetween day . Cant be bothered to trail any where but bored all the same . Dent is swamped with visiters and no doubt it will be very muddy ...
We have made a start on silaging for a couple of days but gave over due to weather . Waiting for finer weather now . ( my Dad and Sister are discussing the pro's and cons of assisted suicide on the phone ) Oh god , you couldnt make it up ......
We have made a start on silaging for a couple of days but gave over due to weather . Waiting for finer weather now . ( my Dad and Sister are discussing the pro's and cons of assisted suicide on the phone ) Oh god , you couldnt make it up ......
Friday, June 22
Thursday, June 21
Walk like an Egytian or Islamic or Dictator
So the Egyptians are not happy . They are not happy that the two main parties running for election are The Islamic Brotherhood and the old regimes military party . Well thats democracy folks you has to take what ya gets ! Dont like it ? Have another revoloution . The same forces will recour but maybe under different guises . Oh i feel old and cynical . Oh thats cos i am !!!!!
And to think i hesitated.....
Well , well , well . It seems like ages since ive been on here but its been less than two weeks in reality , but what a two weeks its been ! Feels more like two years.....
I came back off holiday last weekend from Tintagel and have been on another planet since . With no lap top or internet connection i have been very stressed , probaly more than i should be or is healthy to be . So what does that say about me ? Doing a lot of soul searching on that and being honest to myself . Its a while since i did that . Feeling tense , but im not sure why . Or am i ? Can reasons be so obvious that we dare not admit them cos they are so obvious ? Do we build in complications to relieve our selves from uncomfortable truths . Are we trying to re live the past this time blazing in the glory now we are all older ? I think we all do and having children is the first step to rewriting OUR past or maybe friendships are used for this purpose . I dont know but i have the feeling summer will bring the answers ....
Tintagel was as ever magical , mysterious and incredibly tacky . But beneath the tacky gift shops and castle ruins lies Merlins cave ! Ok i can hear you laughing from here.... stunning coasts and wild seas , black rocks and quartz make the long journey worth while. The week ended with a storm but started with brilliant sunshine . ( DO NOT ANALYSE ) I explored the caves and the cliffs on my own at night once the sun had gone down . My first family holiday was strange and i felt it was the end of an era .Had tears in my eyes as i left Boscastle as ive had some very strange , good experiences here , and insperation for writing ! Glad of sometime on my own to think , but oddly i had nothing to think about this time as all had come which was to come and was sitting well with me !
Boscastle
Somewhere i got to.....
Today im feeling more " at home " at home LOL and its time to move forward and to bigger and better things , and hey just cos im all family at the mo doesnt mean im any different or have changed what make me tick , my life or my loves !!!
I came back off holiday last weekend from Tintagel and have been on another planet since . With no lap top or internet connection i have been very stressed , probaly more than i should be or is healthy to be . So what does that say about me ? Doing a lot of soul searching on that and being honest to myself . Its a while since i did that . Feeling tense , but im not sure why . Or am i ? Can reasons be so obvious that we dare not admit them cos they are so obvious ? Do we build in complications to relieve our selves from uncomfortable truths . Are we trying to re live the past this time blazing in the glory now we are all older ? I think we all do and having children is the first step to rewriting OUR past or maybe friendships are used for this purpose . I dont know but i have the feeling summer will bring the answers ....
Tintagel was as ever magical , mysterious and incredibly tacky . But beneath the tacky gift shops and castle ruins lies Merlins cave ! Ok i can hear you laughing from here.... stunning coasts and wild seas , black rocks and quartz make the long journey worth while. The week ended with a storm but started with brilliant sunshine . ( DO NOT ANALYSE ) I explored the caves and the cliffs on my own at night once the sun had gone down . My first family holiday was strange and i felt it was the end of an era .Had tears in my eyes as i left Boscastle as ive had some very strange , good experiences here , and insperation for writing ! Glad of sometime on my own to think , but oddly i had nothing to think about this time as all had come which was to come and was sitting well with me !
PORT ISSIAC
Random sea cave
Wednesday, June 6
Monday, June 4
Oh what a week .....
Ever get the feeling you shouldnt be where you are ? I do . I think i should be on holiday now . Disasters are trying to happen . Serious ones actually . I get the feeling i should be down in Cornwall .
A couple of days ago i was loading a forage harvester ( an old one ) on to a wagon down in Dent when the lifting chain snapped at the last minute . The machine crashed off the wagon onto the ground at the last minute when i thought all was safe . A big shock i should have seen coming !
Today a neighbour using a leaf blower wandered in front of me when i was towing a heavy load . If i had been going a few miles faster i would have knocked him down scary . So today I'm jumpy......
A couple of days ago i was loading a forage harvester ( an old one ) on to a wagon down in Dent when the lifting chain snapped at the last minute . The machine crashed off the wagon onto the ground at the last minute when i thought all was safe . A big shock i should have seen coming !
Today a neighbour using a leaf blower wandered in front of me when i was towing a heavy load . If i had been going a few miles faster i would have knocked him down scary . So today I'm jumpy......
Saturday, June 2
Green , hazy ,uneasy night
What a strange night it is in Dent . The wind is howling but the dale is in full summer colours now . All the tree's are out and a fine haze is hanging over the hills giving the dale a look of 200 years ago funnily !!! A very uneasy night indeed . Don't know what I'm doing tonight yet at all . Maybe everything... maybe nothing at all . Summer is finally here but is in a funny mood it seems . Time to get away and recoup
Friday, June 1
Happy jubilee !
The " symphony of destruction " is starting already in Syria . Bring in chorus from the UN , then America and finally a crescendo from Russia ! William Hague isn't looking so clever as he did in Libya though . No quick fuck over here..... ONE THING IS FOR SURE I CAN FEEL A MORALISTIC BLOOD LUST BUILDING ! and it has to be fed.
No one is sure who is responsible for the massacres . the government regime , the rebels or just ethnic tension taking advantage of the times but you can guess who will get the blame so it matters little now . Perception is everything . No doubt the Syrian regime is brutal but once again as in Libya they are fighting for their survival . Something we forget . If we started an armed attack on our government what would the out come be ???
No one is sure who is responsible for the massacres . the government regime , the rebels or just ethnic tension taking advantage of the times but you can guess who will get the blame so it matters little now . Perception is everything . No doubt the Syrian regime is brutal but once again as in Libya they are fighting for their survival . Something we forget . If we started an armed attack on our government what would the out come be ???
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