If I told you I never created my own fb page, and that it was in fact set up for me complete with friends ect as a joke after I sarcastically told a relation who offered to set me up one to " just get on with it " Would you actually believe me ? Probably not, but that's the way my page came to be.
Immediately I got into trouble. An obsession occurred as In I felt I was trapped in a new 24hour reality. I had 24hour access to my " friends " and their social activitys and posts. I quickly became stressed, logging on every morning. Some people don't take it too seriously, some people like my self see it as a constant measuring tool of the viability of friendships. A non returned message or unread one quickly had me thinking I was being ignored.... and should I really have written that last post?! Yes, Im neurotic at the best of times. Of course when a reply came I was so relieved, but I was becoming more and more paranoid and actually deeply unhappy. The more unhappy I became, the more I logged on and the harder I tried to prove all was not as I feared. A quagmire approached.
I remember how life was before this site and I cursed the day I laughed and said " just do it then " I am my own worst enemy. So why am I still on there ? Because I am weak that's why. We are all weak ! We crave the constant conformation that we are liked and that people value what we say. A few do read our views, but most just skip over our posts. Some have even admitted this to my face, so I guess its the general way. Once we didn't need fb. Today we cant live without it.
Positives ? Well for having a joke around with family its a blast because they know us inside out. For anything else its a mine field.. Oh, and I nearly forgot; Classic Fords For Sale is a blast too !!
Old friendships are a particularly nasty mental man trap. I mean people you were once close to but you no longer see, are they really still friends ? How can you tell how they view you today ? Once you just wouldn't have seen them any more. Simple. The End. Today they live on like ghosts, and thats not to strong a description I think. This limbo can last for years. Ive seen the long drawn out drift to entropy. Its a modern macabre situation. The slow death. I think this is my biggest regret, having wasted so much energy chasing these ghosts.
Of course that's all my own fault, it really is. And if I don't return or take up your friends request on there its actually a god send as this post confirms !! I have a gift for destruction online, and forever over stepping the mark, or am I just being paranoid ? WTF, I guess you,ve caught my drift by now...lol
