Kendal man

 

 

So who is " Kendal man " ?  He is the average representative of a male from the " Olde Grey Towne " This sleepy northern town was once the jewel of the Lake District, but due to environmentally bloody minded town planners and traffic consultants ,is now experiencing falling number of visitors. The once proud mens wear stores have closed down and are being replaced by gambling shops and sandwich bars. There are also several pawn shops and a new housing estate that has been built especially to take all the types of tenant that other councils in other parts of the country don't want to house. Nobody acknowledges this, ever.  Period. Enough of Kendal mans environmental examination though, lets look at physical traits...
   Kendal man is in his 50's, tall, slim and has silver or white hair. His main mode of transport around the towns contorted one way system is his bike, he has a non descript impossibly clean family hatchback, but his wife is always driving it ,and as his marriage is in a dicky state he just lets her get on with it.
  He has worked in a solicitors office since he left school. He is counting the years, nay days to retirement when he plans to buy a V W Transporter  which he will take everywhere with him on his planned hiking trips of the future, besides his mortgage is nearly paid off due to frugal living, or what he thought was frugal living. He lives in bright optimism that his retirement will be smooth and comfortable. He might even take up jogging if he becomes a little too comfortable, or walking the dog in torrential wet weather. One has to make public displays of uncomfortableness occasionally.