I'm in a funny mood today . The wind is howling round our windows and its sunshine and showers . I find this time of year hard . Im in between mind sets and in between seasons ....
.Eventually when the short winter days begin I suffer from the dreaded Seasonal Disorder . This is an extreme transformation for me . Physically im reduced to 50% . My mind slows down . My world narrows . I become constantly tired but these effects are beginning now very , very slowly and will accumulate steadily peaking at Christmas . By then I will be raging inside , foul tempered and of savage mind !!! Socially I wont give a f**** . I have to force myself to buy presents ! It is the most unfortunate time to feel this way as everyone is forcing happiness but Im doomed till the days start to lengthen in March , then its a slow process back " up " to more energy and spring .This is also an unpleasant process as my mindset then widens to the everyday stuff and the coming future . These two different sides to me are so huge when im in one I doubt the other exists till I feel the seasons change , as today .
Hey the upside of going " down " is well..... nope ! That's a story for Golden !!!
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